Law School Admissions Haiku with Commentary

Today during class I decided to compose a few haiku. I don't know jack about haiku...even if "haiku" is the correct plural form, so I basically just wrote down ideas that came to my head in the 5/7/5 syllable format. I even asked other law school applicants at a website I visit often to submit their own haiku about the stressful law school application and admissions process. Some are dumb, some are pretty funny, and many are undoubtedly too filled with pre-law jargon for the lay person to understand.

Below are some of my favorite.

Run to the mail box.
Could there be an acceptance?
Just spam from Cooley.

-SoxyPirate

Ok, so this one is pretty simple. It's the first one that came to my mind. Obviously, it's about the agonizing walks back and forth from the mailbox each day. Cooley, or the Thomas M. Cooley School of Law, can mean a number of different things. First, it's widely regarded as one of the worst law schools in the country, not necessarily because it's a bad school, but because their own BS rankings place them amongst the very best law schools, due to ridiculous criteria such as square footage of library or number of barber shops within 5 miles of the school. More generally, "Cooley" simply means a low ranked school that you have no interest in. In this sense, you can get spam mail from many "Cooley's."

bored, sitting in class
should be studying econ
composing haiku

-SoxyPirate

Speaks for itself. Here are a few more self explanatory ones:

Everyday the same
Another Waitlist Appears
Only like, no love

-dantimreynolds

Generous mailman...
Give me your sweet gifts today!
Blender Magazine.

-beepermad

a cold p.o. box
a key turns, the door opens--
the sound of torture

-cho

A click of the mouse
Words on screen do not sink in
Dream quietly fades

-geoffree

So much I crave mail.
Each day I stalk the mail man
Each day I feel sad.

-carolinagirl0724

Here's one that made me laugh out loud during class. I had to cover it up like I was coughing.

One gets into Yale
Another in at Harvard
Man, they are assholes

-pany1985

On the website where we are sharing these, there is a very elitist mentality. People who get into Harvard can't imagine why anyone would go to Chicago. Those who go to Berkeley can't imagine why anyone would go to Duke. And anyone that gets into a top 20 school can't imagine why any of the rest of us would even go to law school. Pany's haiku pretty much sums up how "the rest of us" feel about those kids.

In that spirit:

So you got into
Harvard, Yale and Stanford Law
Still, I nailed your girl

-takingmytime

After voicing my approval of Pany's haiku, I got this response:

I was just clapping out syllables at work. I used to be so much better at haiku in elementary school. I suck at life.

-seb819

In the spirit of the exhibition, I replied:

Clapping syllables
I used to be much better
ah, I suck at life

-SoxyPirate

Which was followed by:

Haiku-izing words
Adorn my office montage
Co-workers just stare

-FlightOfTheEarls

Here are a few that will require some commentary:

I am a weak split,
Waitlisted at top thirties;
Learn to love region.

-badlydrawn

A "splitter" is someone with a high LSAT/low GPA or vice versa (like me). It's generally pretty difficult for splitters to predict whether they'll get into a particular school, because they may have one number that is outstanding compared to the rest of the school's applicants, and another that is mediocre at best. Badlydrawn feels like his "weak split" will only manage to get him into a "regional" (lower ranked) school, where his employment prospects are pretty poor outside of the school's region.

Applied very late
Also a weak splitter too
Yay George Washington

-CaptainCubicle

(Is George one syllable?)

...which prompted this reply from our clapping friend

Oh, Just clap it out
You'll probably look foolish
But who gives a [sh*t]?

-seb819

We also have:

The status checker
Torments my soul to no end
But I still love it!

-OperaAttorney

Law school applicants are all too familiar with the infamous "status checker." Many schools provide a website where applicants can see up-to-the-minute updates on the status of their application, be it "complete," "under review," or "decision processed." Many of us spend countless hours hitting "refresh" while staring at our status checker.

UNC emails:
"Congratulations, you're in!"
Later, "not so fast..."

-SoxyPirate

Today UNC sent out a flood of acceptance emails by mistake. Moments later, after an overwhelming number of incoming calls and emails, they corrected their error by sending another email asking applicants to disregard the earlier email. Torture.

In my obsession
I use jargon you don't get
Sorry, normal friends

-presh

This seems particularly appropriate for this blog post.

And finally:

On a message board
Filled with repeated questions
This thread is awesome

-Fup

There were dozens and of haiku submitted, and some were not family-or-blog friendly, but they all made me smile.

These were two I put on Facebook today:

East Carteret High
The worst 4 years of my life
Just let me forget...

-SoxyPirate

East Carteret High
Where I learned to write Haiku
Now I use to slight

-SoxyPirate

Anyone out there have any interesting or relevant haiku to add to the mix?